A Pleasant Surprise at a Wedding Banquet - Meeting Kenny and Beatrice

Since our last attendance at a wedding banquet on 8 August, just over a month ago, we were once again invited to another wedding celebration on 13 September - the wedding of Wallace and Jessica. They were among the couples who attended the pre-marriage course organised by the Church in May this year.

It was a grand affair, with more than sixty tables of guests filling the banquet hall. The atmosphere was lively and joyful, with laughter and conversation all around as family members, relatives and friends gathered to celebrate the young couple as they began a new chapter in their lives. It was a fun-filled and memorable evening.

But, for us, what made the evening especially meaningful was an unexpected encounter with Kenny and Beatrice. Kenny and Beatrice were among the very first batches of couples who signed up for the pre-marriage course when the Church introduced the programme in the early 2000s. That was more than twenty years ago. At that time, they were still a young couple preparing themselves for marriage, just as Wallace and Jessica are doing today.

We had not seen them for quite some time, so it was a pleasant surprise to meet them again at the banquet. As we chatted and caught up with one another, they shared that their two children are now 20 and 14 years old. We could hardly believe it! Their eldest has already entered university as a first-year student.

Twenty years - where did all those years go? It seems like only yesterday that Kenny and Beatrice were attending the pre-marriage course as a young couple, listening, learning and preparing for married life. Yet, without us quite realising it, the years had passed, their family had grown. Their eldest is already taking the first steps into university life.

Moments like this always make us pause and reflect on how quickly time passes - especially at our present age. Weddings are often celebrations of beginnings, but this particular wedding banquet also reminded us of the many journeys that have unfolded since the Church first started the pre-marriage ministry.

Over the years, we have seen young couples come through the course with dreams and hopes for their future together. Some we meet occasionally; others have moved on with their lives. Some we may not have seen for many years. But every now and then, we meet one of them again, and suddenly a whole chapter of the past comes alive. Meeting Kenny and Beatrice was one of those special moments. Their presence at the banquet was almost like a bridge between the past and the present - between the young couples we met in the early days of the ministry and the new generation of couples like Wallace and Jessica who are now beginning their own journey.

As we watched Wallace and Jessica celebrate their wedding surrounded by family and friends, we could not help but think of Kenny and Beatrice and the many years of marriage and family life that have followed their own wedding day.

Perhaps this is one of the quiet blessings of serving in the Church. We may not always see the fruits of what we do immediately. But years later, sometimes quite unexpectedly, we catch a glimpse of how lives have unfolded. A couple we once knew as newlyweds may now be the parents of university students. And the young couple standing before us today will, before we know it, have their own story to tell.

The evening therefore became more than just another wedding banquet for us. It was a joyful celebration of Wallace and Jessica’s new beginning, but also a nostalgic reminder of the passage of time, the preciousness of family, and the many lives that God has allowed us to touch along the way.

As we left the banquet that night, I found myself thinking: perhaps this is what makes the journey worthwhile - not only remembering the couples we once helped prepare for marriage, but occasionally meeting them again and discovering, with a mixture of surprise and gratitude, just how far they have come.

With Wallace and Jessica.

With Kenny and Beatrice.

Tarap and an Untold Story

Early this week, our neighbour gave us two not-yet-fully-ripened tarap fruits. The moment I saw them, I instantly recalled our last “hunt” for this fruit in March 2024, when Sam’s family was in Kota Kinabalu for a holiday. Rachel, my daughter-in-law, was particularly keen to taste tarap again after having eaten it a couple of years earlier. Unfortunately, we didn't find any tarap on sale because it was not the season (Read here). Their first taste of tarap was in September 2019, when they had their first trial of this unusual fruit. My granddaughter, Livvie in particular, really loved it (Read here).

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For me, eating tarap always evokes memories of childhood. Perhaps that is because tarap trees grew in my grandmother’s farm in Kampong Pulutan, as well as in the vicinity of my childhood home near what is now Jalan Istana.

But there is another memory connected to tarap trees - one that has remained with me for more than sixty years and is still difficult for me to talk about. It was an incident that could have changed the course of our family and my life had it turned out differently.

The Tarap Trees and the Fall

In the 1950s and 1960s, village houses had neither electricity nor a piped water supply. Our very first form of “entertainment” came when my father finally bought a battery-powered radio. I believe this was around 1963.

To obtain better reception, a long copper wire was strung high above the ground and connected to the radio set as an aerial. In our case, my father chose two huge, tall tarap trees to support the wire.

On one fateful weekend morning, my father, with the help of his two young sons - my second brother, Elvis and I - set about putting up the aerial. To climb the first tarap tree, my dad used a long bamboo pole, leaning it against the tarap tree at an angle and then climbing up.

He had climbed more than three-quarters of the way up the sloping pole when, suddenly, the pole dislodged from the tree. My father fell together with the bamboo pole. Because the tree stood on a hillside, the actual height of the fall was about fifteen feet. He landed on the ground and lay motionless.

We immediately cried out for help. My mother came rushing out of the house below and ran up the slope. Seeing my father lying motionless, she gently tapped him and then instructed me to go back to the house and get a cup. At that moment, I was completely bewildered. In the middle of such a frightening accident, why on earth did she need a cup? 

I ran back and brought one. By then, my father was slowly regaining consciousness. My mother's next instruction was for my second brother to urinate into the cup. Once the cup was almost full, she placed it against my father's mouth and helped him drink it. Slowly, he seemed to improve, and with our help, we managed to get him back into the house.

By God's grace, my father recovered remarkably well. There appeared to be no lasting injury from what had been a potentially devastating fall.

At the time, my brother and I had absolutely no idea why my mother had done what she did. It was only much later that she explained to us the traditional belief behind her actions - particularly the supposed “benefit” of drinking the urine of a young boy.

The Traditional Belief

During the 1950s and earlier, Chinese immigrants to North Borneo (now Sabah), many of whom originated from Guangdong, brought with them deeply rooted folk customs, traditional remedies and beliefs influenced by Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

In rural communities, these practices often became intertwined with local beliefs, superstition and practical remedies developed out of necessity. One such traditional belief concerned the use of human urine, particularly the urine of young boys, known in Chinese as 童子尿. In traditional Chinese folklore and historical medical practice, urine was sometimes believed to possess therapeutic properties. In certain circumstances, including after a serious fall or injury, it might have been regarded as a desperate remedy for someone who appeared weak, semi-conscious or seriously affected by trauma.

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Yet, more than sixty years later, I still remember that morning vividly. For a young boy, it was a frightening experience. For our family, it was a moment that could have changed everything.

Looking back, I can fully understand why my mother took that course of action. There was no instant communication or easy way to seek emergency medical assistance in those days. Faced with my father lying unconscious after a serious fall, she had to act immediately, using whatever knowledge and remedies were available to her. The only “instant remedy” she knew was one that had been passed down to her since childhood - and, in that moment of desperation, she naturally turned to what she had been taught to believe might help. My father’s quick recovery, together with the absence of any obvious physical injury, was more than sufficient to convince my mother that the remedy she instantly chose had worked.

And today, whenever I eat a tarap, I am reminded not only of its distinctive taste and the happy memories of childhood, but also of those two enormous tarap trees, the bamboo pole, my father's fall, my mother's desperate response, and, above all, God's grace in preserving my father's life.

Some memories are attached to places. Others are attached to people. And some, unexpectedly, are attached to a fruit.

A Chance Encounter with an Old University Friend - Darshan

After the opening of the multi-storey car park and market in Foh Sang at the beginning of 2025, we have occasionally visited the market to buy vegetables and other foodstuffs. Our visits were usually in the late morning. So, our visit to the market at 7am on Saturday, 5 September, was a first for us.

The market was already vibrant and bustling at that early hour. We met quite a number of familiar faces, as well as one gentleman who recognised me even though, embarrassingly, I could not recall his name.

But the most remarkable and unexpected encounter came after breakfast, when we bumped into Darshan Singh at one of the eateries.

Darshan and I were both former students of the University of Malaya. I remember meeting him occasionally in the UM campus in the 1970s, particularly when the Sabah Students' Group organised social activities and gatherings. To see him again after more than half a century was truly amazing and brought back a flood of memories from our university days.

One noticeable change was that Darshan did not wear a turban during our university days, whereas he does today.

Although I had not seen him in person since our university days, I had not completely lost touch with his name. He has appeared in the local newspapers over the years, most notably for his courageous stand in publicly opposing the handing over of Labuan to the Federal Government to become a Federal Territory in 1984. According to reports, he was subsequently detained under the Internal Security Act (ISA) for two years. He later spoke publicly about his detention during a 2013 debate involving two former Sabah Chief Ministers (Read here).

Darshan's legacy will perhaps be his willingness to stand up for what he believed was right, despite knowing the risks and personal consequences he might face.

Our conversation also gave me an opportunity to catch up on what he has been doing in recent years. Darshan told me that he is currently serving as the Secretary General of the Sabah Boxing Association (Read here). He also shared proudly that one of his sons, Sachev Singh, is a cruiserweight boxer representing Sabah and has won a silver medal in the Malaysia Cup (Read here).

The encounter with an old university friend after breakfast was certainly not something we expected when we set out for the market that morning. But that unexpected reunion with Darshan, after more than fifty years, made it a particularly memorable Saturday morning.

An old 1973 group photo of MU Sabah Sudents' Group.
Taken at an open field in MU Campus.

Colourized photo.
Sitting from left: Wilfred Bumburing, Awang Bakar,
Late Helen Richard (Later became Mrs. Mark Koding).
Standing from left: Late Mark Koding, Me,
Felix Madan, Suhaile, Late Vincent Gadalon,
Darshan Singh and Sangau Gunting. 

Another old 1973 photo of the larger group of the
MU Sabah Students' Group.

Colourized photo.
Darshan is at front row sitting at right.
Me at third row standing at right.

Front row from left: Wilfred Bumburing, Awang Bakar, Late Helen Richard, Askalani Durahin, Darshan Singh.

Second row from left: Noni Said, Jainisah Nurajim, Lee Lai Yun, Mary Teresa Kinajil, Teo Eng Leng, Late Vincent Gadalon, Siti Aisha, Suhaile.

Third row standing from left: Late Mark Koding, (?), (?), Frederick Subal, Late Flora Chong, Soon Thien Sing, Teo Tu Huah, (?), Johnny Lee (Johnny Bouniu), Sangau Gunting, Me.

Back row from left: Rayner Barnabas Longinus Molikun, Felix Madan, Ansari Abdullah, (?).

When Coincidence Becomes Providence

Around mid-August, many of the floor tiles in my dining area suddenly began to pop up. One possible explanation was the recent extreme heat experienced in Sabah and in many parts of the world. In some countries, extreme heat waves have pushed temperatures as high as 46°C (115°F), including parts of the southwestern and south-central United States. By comparison, the highest temperature recorded in Sabah during the first three weeks of August was around 34°C (93°F).

At first, my wife and I simply walked over the raised tiles. But as more tiles began to pop up, some started to crack under the pressure. To prevent further damage, we placed plywood and a thick rug over them to cushion the impact.

I immediately thought of contacting some contractors who had helped us with repair work in the past. I remembered one contractor who had repaired our floor tiles before, but somehow I just could not recall his name. Another contractor came to mind, but he is normally very busy, and I knew he would probably not be available for at least a month or two.

Just as I was wondering who else I could call, my phone rang on 20 August. It was Alan. I immediately remembered him, although I could hardly recall the last time he had called me - perhaps not once in the past 10 to 15 years. We are in the same chat group, where he regularly shares Christian messages and testimonies, but we had never actually contacted each other directly for many years.

Alan called to ask whether I could help him with some technical issues concerning an old house he was repairing. He normally consulted another consultant friend, Simon, but Simon was unreachable, so Alan thought of calling me instead.

I agreed to help. On 22 August, I accompanied Alan to the old house, where we met the owner and discussed the problems and possible solutions. During our conversation, I casually mentioned my own floor tile problem and said that I was looking for someone to repair it. Alan did not say much about it at the time.

He did, however, mention that he was currently handling a major repair contract at a college along Jalan Tuaran-Bypass. He had also taken on the house repair project because its owner was a member of the college's management committee and had sought his help to fix some leaking problems in the house.

Then on Monday, 24 August, to my great surprise, Alan called and said that he would set aside a day or two to repair my floor tiles. This was totally unexpected, and I was deeply touched by his gesture. Instead of merely helping me find someone else, he literally put aside his work on two ongoing projects and came to help me himself. In the end, he spent three and a half days, from 26 to 29 August, repairing my floor tiles. To me, it was nothing short of a God-sent miracle.

Later, Alan told me what had led him to call me in the first place. Being a man of faith, he often prays whenever he encounters difficulties. When he could not get hold of Simon, he prayed for someone who could help him. During his prayer, he had a vision of a white-haired man - and he immediately thought of me. That was how it all began.

Looking back, it is difficult for me to see this as merely a coincidence. At the very moment I was wondering who could help me with my floor tiles, Alan - someone I had hardly spoken to in 10 to 15 years - suddenly called me. And the reason he called was because he needed my help. Yet, in the end, it was he who ended up helping me.

Our paths crossed at precisely the right moment, and neither of us could have planned it. Perhaps this is how God sometimes works - not always through dramatic or spectacular miracles, but through ordinary events that come together at just the right time. And what initially appears to be coincidence begins to look more and more like divine providence.

For me, this was more than just getting my floor tiles repaired. It was a gentle reminder that God knows our needs even before we ask, and that He can bring the right person into our lives at exactly the right time. What began with a few floor tiles popping up ended with a reminder that, in God's hands, even the most ordinary circumstances can become extraordinary.

Buckets and buckets of sand were placed on the floor tiles after liquid adhesive was applied - a true “brute force” solution, as Paul aptly put it, to make sure the popped-up tiles were firmly glued back into place!

One Birthday, Two Celebrations

After Paul and Junshi organized a special pre-birthday dinner for their mother (Read here), one might think the birthday celebrations were over. But not quite! Now it is Dad’s turn to take his beloved wife out for another birthday celebration dinner - this time, just the two of them. The venue? Cham’s Roast & Grill.

It is quite amusing how birthdays change as we grow older. When we were young, birthdays were often about cakes, presents, balloons and parties with friends. As the years go by, the things that matter most become much simpler - good food, meaningful conversations, laughter around the table and, most importantly, having the people we love close by. The celebration may become smaller, but somehow the meaning becomes deeper.

Paul and Junshi had already made their mum feel special with their thoughtful pre-birthday dinner. Now the husband wanted to do his part - not with an elaborate celebration, but with a simple gesture that says, “You are still special to me.” 

There is something rather touching about celebrating birthdays together in our later years. We begin to realize that the greatest gift is not what is wrapped in a box or placed on the dinner table. It is the gift of time - time spent together, sharing stories, recalling memories, enjoying a meal and simply being present. The years have taught us that these ordinary moments are often the ones we treasure most.

Perhaps that is what makes this second birthday dinner equally meaningful. It is not merely another celebration, but a small expression of love and gratitude from a husband to his wife - a reminder that after all these years, there are still reasons to celebrate each other, still memories to make, and still joy to be found in simply being together.

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But the celebration did not end at Cham’s Roast & Grill. Once we were back home, we continued the evening with a session of Sapporo Premium Beer. After our visit to the Sapporo Beer Museum (Read here), we were pleasantly surprised to discover that this familiar beer is also available in a supermarket in KK. As we raised our glasses, the beer brought back sweet memories of our family trip to Hokkaido just over a month ago.

Durians Galore

On 14 August, our CG members went on an outing to a durian farm, with one very clear objective - to enjoy as many durians as our hearts desired!

The farm belongs to a friend who is passionate about durians and has devoted considerable time, effort and resources to promoting the fruit and developing durian-related eco-tourism. The farm is not simply a place to grow durians; it has been thoughtfully developed to allow visitors to experience the plantation and learn more about the different varieties of this much-loved tropical fruit.

One of the highlights of the farm is the trail leading from the base to the highest platform. Steps have been constructed along the route, with several resting stations where visitors can take a break and enjoy the surroundings. According to the owner, there are about 500 steps in total - a fairly challenging climb, especially for the seniors in our group!

We therefore split into two groups. Seven members decided to remain at the base, while the other 15 took up the challenge and climbed to the mid-level platform. The climb provided some welcome exercise, although the thought of the durians waiting for us at the top was undoubtedly an additional source of motivation!

The outing turned out to be both educational and enjoyable. We learned more about durian cultivation and the different varieties grown on the farm, while also having the opportunity to taste two types of durians - Musang King and the more traditional Kampong durians. Each had its own distinctive taste and character, giving us plenty to talk about and compare.

Of course, the real highlight was sitting together, enjoying the fresh durians and filling our tummies to our heart's delight. It was a wonderful combination of learning, exercise, good food and, most importantly, fellowship. For our CG group, it was a memorable outing that reminded us that sometimes the best way to spend a day is simply to enjoy good company over an abundance of good food!

Ascending from the base to the mid-platform.

The owner personally opened the durians for us!

An unusably huge Kampong durian.

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Besides durians, the farm is also home to a variety of other fruit trees. On our way down after the durian feast, the owner pointed out a yellowish fruit and introduced us to Gac fruit, which I saw for the first time. Native to Southeast Asia, Gac is related to bitter melon and is known for its distinctive spiky skin and bright red, jelly-like arils surrounding large black seeds. The arils are the edible part and are particularly rich in beta-carotene and lycopene, as well as vitamin E. Unlike many tropical fruits, Gac has a mild, slightly sweet and creamy taste.

The owner also gave us a bambangan picked from one of the trees. Seeing it immediately brought back memories of eating this fruit at my grandmother’s farm in Kampong Pulutan in the 1960s. Bambangan is a wild mango native to Borneo, with thick greenish-brown skin, yellow-orange flesh and a large seed. It has a strong, distinctive aroma and a unique sweet-sour, tangy flavour. A traditional favourite in Sabah, particularly among the Kadazan-Dusun community, bambangan remains one of Borneo’s distinctive seasonal fruits. For me, however, it was more than just a fruit - it was a delicious reminder of childhood memories.

Gac Fruit (Top) and Bambangan (Lower)

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Culinary Journey Back Home

Whenever family members who now work overseas or have settled in foreign countries return to their hometown for a holiday, food hunting inevitably becomes one of their favourite activities. Whenever our children come home, they never miss the opportunity to seek out the foods they once enjoyed and the places that hold special memories for them. Food, after all, represents much more than nourishment; it is closely connected with memory, identity, family, culture and a sense of belonging.

This August, when Paul and Junshi came back for a short holiday, they went out on their own a couple of times to revisit places where they had once enjoyed some of their favourite foods. We, too, did our part by arranging meals at several of the restaurants and food outlets they used to enjoy. In our own small way, we were happy to contribute to their culinary journey of rediscovery and, hopefully, to the satisfaction of finding again some of the familiar tastes they had missed while living overseas.

At Yit Foh Kopitiam at BSA.

At Lok Tien Dim Sum

At Fook Yuen Cafe @Kolombong.

At Chennai Recipes Restaurant @ Borneo Suites Hotel